Dear Pulse,

I’ve been married for three years and three months, but the foundation of our relationship has always been shaky. Before the wedding, my wife confessed to cheating on me while we were dating. She cried bitterly and told me it would never happen again. Her apologies and promises to change convinced me to forgive her. So, we got married.

Recently, I found out that she’s cheating again. I caught her on the phone, confessing her love to another man. I confronted her, even threatening to leave. She cried and begged again, and I decided to stay and work on our marriage.

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Three weeks later, I saw explicit messages and photos exchanged with the same man. Even worse, she planned to travel and meet him. I am confused and heartbroken. I love her, how can I make her stop cheating on me?

Dear Jide,

I am sorry you have to go through this. You can’t stop a person from cheating, it’s their decision.

There is no easy choice to make in this situation. Perhaps your wife needs some counselling to work through why she keeps cheating. After that, you both can have joint therapy sessions.

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However, you deserve trust and respect in your marriage. It sounds like your wife's repeated infidelity has broken that trust. There is the option of separation or divorce, but that’s a big decision to make; it’s a decision you shouldn’t take lightly. Consider all your options and do what feels right to you.

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