Moving to a new country and building a whole new social circle can be an intimidating experience. This is especially true in Germany, where the culture can seem reserved and the language impossible to master.

This guide will provide you with actionable advice on how to make new friends in Germany and navigate German friendship dynamics. From meeting people in various settings to understanding the cultural nuances that influence social interactions, there’s a lot to learn! But it’s important not to get discouraged and to focus on the end goal: building meaningful, long-lasting connections in your new home.

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Is it easy to make friends in Germany?

Whether you find it easy or hard to make friends in Germany will likely depend on your personal experiences and specific circumstances. It can be easier to make friends in a large, cosmopolitan city like Berlin, especially if you’re the outgoing type. On the other hand, you may struggle to penetrate the social dynamics of a more rural setting. 

Understanding the local social dynamics and adopting the right approach can significantly ease the process. Here’s what you need to know:

Regional variations

In cosmopolitan areas like Berlin, Munich and Hamburg, the presence of diverse, multinational communities creates a more open social environment. These cities host various social events, expat meetups and cultural exchanges that facilitate new connections. In smaller towns and rural areas, social networks can be more insular, and penetrating these circles may require more time and effort.

Cultural norms and social etiquette

Germans are known for their formality in initial encounters and their direct manner of communication. Understanding this can help prevent misunderstandings. For example, while Germans may seem reserved at first, this formality is a sign of respect and should not be interpreted as unfriendliness.

Social activities in Germany are often planned well in advance, and punctuality is highly prized. Impromptu gatherings are less common, so it’s a good idea to get into the habit of scheduling and sticking to plans.

How can I make friends in Germany?

It’s difficult to make friends staying at home, so try to put yourself in as many social situations as possible. Here are some suggestions:

• Local clubs and sports teams: Joining a club or team can be an excellent way to meet people with similar interests. For example, if you enjoy photography, a local photography club can offer both friendship and enrichment.
• Regulars’ tables (Stammtische): Many cities host regular meet-ups. You can find these through local forums or platforms like Nebenan, which connects neighbors and organizes community activities. Look for events like “Neu in (City)” Stammtisch, which are regular meet-ups for newcomers in cities across Germany.
• Expatriate networks: Platforms like InterNations organize regular events in major cities, offering a mix of social and professional networking opportunities for expats.
• Use social platforms: Websites like Meetup or local Facebook groups can help you find events or gatherings based on your interests.

What are German friendships like?

Friendships in Germany are generally sincere and long-lasting. Germans tend to value deeper connections rather than numerous acquaintances, so once a friendship is formed, it often becomes a trusted and loyal bond.

Depth over breadth

Germans generally prioritize quality over quantity in their friendships. Unlike some cultures where it’s common to have a large circle of friends one might meet casually, Germans often maintain a smaller group of close friends. 

These friendships are built on deep mutual respect and a shared history, often developed over many years. For example, it’s common for Germans to remain close friends with their schoolmates throughout their lives.

Trust and reliability

Once you’ve made a friend in Germany, that person is likely to be extremely reliable. A German friend will typically stand by your side in times of need, offering help and support without hesitation. For instance, if you move to a new apartment, it’s typical for German friends to offer practical help with the move, bringing tools and supplies and dedicating a day to assist you.

Forming friendships

Building new friendships in Germany can take time, as Germans often approach new relationships with caution. Initial meetings may be marked by formality and reserve, which should not be interpreted as a lack of interest. 

Once trust is established, Germans are known for their deep loyalty and supportiveness. For instance, an invitation to someone’s home in Germany signifies a meaningful bond and trust, rather than a mere social formality.

Dos and don’ts of making friends in Germany

Do:

• Engage in local life: Attend community events and local festivals to immerse yourself in German culture and meet locals.
• Learn the language: Basic proficiency in German can greatly enhance your social interactions and show your commitment to adapting to your new home.

• Address new acquaintances formally: Use surnames and titles until invited to use first names.
• Be punctual: Always arrive on time, as tardiness can be seen as disrespectful.
• Come bearing gifts: When invited to someone’s home, bring a small gift, such as a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers.

Don’t:

• Spend too much time on small talk: Unlike in some cultures, Germans generally prefer meaningful conversation to small talk. However, a quick chat about the weather before diving into deeper waters never hurts.
• Decline invitations: Accept invitations whenever possible, as these can be great opportunities to deepen connections.

Building lasting friendships

Learning how to find friends in Germany involves a deep understanding of local customs and proactive participation in community life. By engaging in community activities, respecting cultural norms and showing genuine interest in those you meet, you can establish rewarding friendships that greatly enhance your experience in Germany.

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Jennifer Shirin

Jennifer lives in Frankfurt and has over eight years of experience in writing and content creation, specializing in educational topics, finance, and forward-looking areas like Blockchain and Web3. Her ability to convey complex knowledge in an engaging way is evident in all her projects, from articles to blogs and social media posts. In addition to writing, Jennifer also lends her expertise in marketing and growth to support other startups. She finds relaxation and inspiration in hiking through nature and spending time with her cats. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

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